I've been hearing the phrase for years.

"Nice guys finish last"

To say I'm tired of that phrase would be to say that The Big Bang was one of those little paper poppers you throw on the ground.

The subject of the nice guy's been brought up in a couple of different circles of friends, and always has to do with relationships.They all tell me I'm a nice guy, and while I have plenty of moments where I feel a lot less than nice, I've pretty much come to believe them. 

There are a number of girls who will tell you I'm not very good at relationships. I'm not proud of that. I have yet to have one that lasts over four months, and for a majority of them, that was my own fault.

I'm not really looking for someone right now, but I do like to feel attractive once in a blue moon, you know? I like to think that maybe that cute redhead that comes in to eat every now and then would find me cute and funny. Or something equivalent to that.

It'd just be nice to be reassured that I've got some redeeming qualities and that girls still (?) find me attractive. I keep feeling I've got something that keeps them away; that freaks them out or causes them to emotionally (and maybe physically, although I have yet to see it) recoil like a frightened cat. I'm just not sure what.  

 What puzzles me is how guys who are, excuse the term, complete jackasses can keep one or sometimes more girls just flocking to them and hanging on them, and all the while the girl complains that their man is treating them badly.

Is there some sort of cologne I don't know about?

I've come up with a couple of theories.

1. We live in a culture of victimhood. We all like to think we're the underdog fighting against the man. Don't lie to yourself. I feel that way at times. In a strange and twisted way, we enjoy being the victim of something. That way we can gain further acceptance and support from our and get our ego stroked. That's all well and good in times of trouble, but in a bad relationship I'd well imagine it becomes like an addiction.

I'd like to go on record and say I've been blessed not to have more than one bad relationship yet. My love life's rather short, but I can't say I haven't enjoyed it.

2. People don't have to be attached if their partner is a complete jackass, so they can essentially have them at their disposal. When it gets to be too much, off they go. The J.A. thinks they have control, when quite the opposite is true. This can apply for both sexes, but I've seen it more often in women.

3. The other person believes they can "fix" the J.A. It's much like the great Ron White said, and I agree with him: "You can't fix stupid."

4. It may be great physically, but otherwise the relatioship's trash. Whatever. I never really delved into that.

5. Chivalry's dead. I don't know how exactly it died, but it stopped being expected. Somehow, forms of abuse became the new chivalry. 

I'm a nice guy, ok? The Good Lord knows I can be the biggest J.A. on the planet some days, but overall...

My friend Tonia told me I'd be good for a woman, but not for a girl. Just my luck I'm a 23-year-old with the mind and soul of someone much older.

I don't know. It's unfair, frankly. It just plain sucks that the jerks rule the planet. I can't in all clear conscience become one, though.

I literally can't make myself attempt to change into that bad boy all the girls are looking for. It kind of makes me wonder who would notice anyway.

It's unfair, like I said. I know God's probably got someone out there for me, and I'm fine with that. If not, I'll be just as happy single.  I just like to feel attractive, and I don't right now.

Until the day comes where I might find that girl (woman. probably woman at that point.), I'm ok. Really. You jerks run on ahead and let me finish last. I'm not sure why it is we're racing to begin with, but whatever.

To the women out there, and to the few men who have sought me as an advisor or a firing post, I'm still here for you. If you just need to vent, by all means you can. If you need advice, I'll give it to you so long as it doesn't fall on deaf ears.

Thanks for reading me out again, guys.

-Adam